Comedy Is Not Pretty! was a 1979 album by Steve Martin. But he might as well been talking about the directorial debut effort from writer Etan Cohen. And I use “effort” in the loosest definition of the word. The plot concerns a filthy rich stockbroker named James King (Ferrell) who is arrested for embezzlement. His gold digging fiancée (Alison Brie) also happens to be the boss‘ daughter. Her father Martin Barrow (Craig T. Nelson ) was going to make James a partner in his company Barrow Funds. Despite his assertions to the contrary, the judge finds James guilty and sentences him to ten years at San Quentin, with only 30 days to get his affairs in order. During this time he relies on his boss to prove his innocence. Meanwhile James contacts his car washer, Darnell Lewis (Kevin Hart) to teach him how to toughen up so that he will be able to survive in prison.
In Get Hard, Ferrell and Hart are the worst comedy duo since Clooney and O’Donnell in Batman & Robin. It doesn’t help that the premise is artificially fabricated for laughs without a lick of sense. Rather than trying to prove James’ innocence, Darnell just decides to prepare him for prison life by transforming his luxurious estate into a prison. This leads to a lot of really lame bits that simply rely on the stars’ personas to nail the joke. Instead of exploiting conventions, the screenplay wallows in them never rising above hackneyed stereotypes that were already tired in the 80s. The scene at an outdoor L.A. cafe with an all-gay clientele is the nadir. No wait, make that the moment that follows in the restaurant’s bathroom. It reminded me that Ryan O’Neal and John Hurt did a forgotten buddy comedy in 1982 called Partners. That was bad. This is worse.
Ok I’ll admit there are a few scattered jokes that are amusing. At their engagement party, James’ fiancée introduces John Mayer as the surprise entertainment and her father leans over to her and asks, “Who’s John Mayer?“ In another bit, Kevin Hart impersonates several personalities in a prison exercise yard. As he jumps around in a frenzy changing his voice and demeanor to suit various characters, I saw talent.
Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart can be funny but you’d never know it from this lazily written time waster. Even the title is a double entendre that sounds like a 5th grader made it up. Ok hold up. That’s not fair, I’m underestimating the wit of a 10 year old. Get Hard is based on the stale conceit that if you combine a tall uptight white guy with a short streetwise black guy then laughs will follow. This is a bloated vehicle for two stars to just act silly and film what happens. A paper thin premise is stretched to fill 100 minutes that has fewer chuckles than a visit to the dentist. In this case, multiplying two positives actually equals a negative.
03-31-15
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