Fast Film Reviews

The Lost City

Have you ever seen an ad for a movie that makes it look utterly generic, but the reviews drop and they’re favorable? Then it opens at the box office and it’s a big hit as well. Suddenly you wonder if you incorrectly judged a book by its cover. So you go see it but it turns out to be even more bland and hackneyed than you suspected. That’s my experience with The Lost City. I need to trust my gut.

The Lost City squanders a promising beginning. Loretta Sage is an intellectual who just so happens to write successful romance novels. Her books feature a fictional star named Dash. Alan Caprison (Channing Tatum) is a model who poses as the leading man on the cover. At the behest of her publicist (Da’Vine Joy Randolph) and social media manager (Patti Harrison), Loretta and Alan make an appearance before a crowd of fans. The throng is a lot more excited to see “Dash.” He appears as a Fabio-styled celebrity with long blond hair that turns out to be a wig. That scene is amusing. Unfortunately, the expo doesn’t go well and she leaves in a huff. However, she’s kidnapped in a black SUV and brought to meet an eccentric billionaire named Abigail Fairfax (Daniel Radcliffe). He wants Loretta’s help in translating an artifact to acquire hidden treasure on a mysterious island. She refuses but he employs chloroform and takes her there anyways. After Loretta goes missing, Alan calls his old buddy Jack Trainer (Brad Pitt), a highly-skilled yoga instructor. The two meet on the island and attempt to rescue her.

I could continue but the elaborate setup is just an excuse for a sloppy episodic adventure that isn’t funny. The Lost City is a cheap remix of better movies. The blueprint is Romancing the Stone with a healthy dose of Indiana Jones thrown in. God forgive me for even mentioning those classics in the same breath. This mess is a poor imitation. In another case of “too many cooks,” this dud of a screenplay is credited to a whopping five individuals. The material co-written by directors and brothers Adam and Aaron Nee with Oren Uziel and Dana Fox, from a story conceived by Seth Gordon, made me chuckle maybe two or three times.

Even the most talented actor can’t breathe life into bad material. The various situations are convoluted and stupid. That’s OK. If the dialogue is well written, they don’t have to make sense. See Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar for proof. Sandra Bullock, Channing Tatum, Daniel Radcliffe, and Brad Pitt mug and exaggerate their lines as best they can. A slew of assorted predicaments fail to extract laughs no matter how hard they try. The humor is broad and forced. Witnessing Sandra Bullock peel leaches off what is supposedly Channing Tatum’s naked backside is not her finest hour. Pitt’s dignity remains intact as the too-good-to-be-true action hero personality. I enjoyed the chronicle whenever he was on screen. Sadly his limited presence is reduced to a glorified cameo. The main stars do their best but watching Tatum play dumb while Bullock acts annoyed is not enough to form the basis of an entire picture. This expedition to find the Lost City turned out to be a crushing bore. They should’ve been on a quest to find a decent script.

03-29-22

2 Responses

  1. I agree with you. It didn’t have what “Uncharted “ had, chemistry. I wanted to like it, but only, like you, chuckled a few times. I wanted more Brad Pitt. He brought a fun light to the film. 2 ⭐️

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