65

Random thought: Did anyone else watch the 1970s TV series Land of the Lost during its original run? Just me? Ok.

So I can sum up the entire plot of 65 in 10 words. “An astronaut crashes upon an unknown world and finds dinosaurs.” There are a few more details — but not much. Screenwriters Scott Beck and Bryan Woods write and direct. The team also penned A Quiet Place. However, this movie solidifies the ongoing suspicion that director John Krasinski’s contribution to that script was significant. The opening crawl informs us that before the onset of homo sapiens, other civilizations across the universe (which implausibly look like humans, too) have engaged in intergalactic travel. Mills (Adam Driver) — a pilot — and his wife Alya (Nika King) live on the planet Somaris. They have a daughter named Nevine (Chloe Coleman), who suffers from an illness. The money he earns from this two-year expedition will be enough to treat her. 

Planet of the Apes understood the power of a reveal. The twist that would have made this chronicle interesting is foolishly disclosed in the first 20 minutes. The mysterious environment upon which Mills crash lands is Earth during the Cretaceous period, 65 million years ago. That’s the explanation for the terrible title. His ship has been split in half. The space pods that offer an escape are resting unharmed at the top of a mountain. Sadly the other passengers on board have been killed. Then he discovers a lone survivor — a young girl named Koa (Ariana Greenblatt) cryogenically frozen in a chamber.  

The story is about a trek to a mountain. This is a picture that rests on the interactions between Mills and Koa. The “Grumpy Dad-Adopted Daughter” dynamic is so very hot right now. Nearly 30 years ago, the trope gained popularity with 1994’s The Professional. It has continued with 2017’s Logan and the Netflix show The Witcher. The Last of Us on HBO is a current example. However, here the child speaks an entirely different language. They have difficulty communicating, which conveniently alleviates the scribes from writing anything of substance. This characteristic renders their discussions incredibly dull. I understand her presence. She reminds him of his daughter, but nothing is done with that idea. Oh yeah, along the way they encounter some dinosaurs. This component is practically an afterthought. 

If there’s anything positive to say — and there is — it’s that the atmosphere is visually impressive. Dinosaurs are inherently exciting. It’s why the Jurassic Park franchise has a worldwide gross of $6 billion. I will admit the special effects are amazing. There are some potent scares — augmented by loud, jarring sounds. However, more is needed to sustain this film. Even at a concise 93 minutes, there isn’t enough to support this picture’s paltry amount of narrative developments.

The stop motion animation in Sid and Marty Krofft’s Saturday morning serial Land of the Lost was nothing to brag about, but at least the story was compelling. It’s available on the TV app ReDiscover Television. If you need to satiate your “father-daughter surrounded by dinosaurs” fix, watch that instead.

03-14-23