Fast Film Reviews

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 caps off a trio of films nine years in the making. I’ll cut right to the chase. The 32nd chapter in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) is a touching and satisfying end. It’s the most consistent trilogy in the MCU (Spider-Man and Captain America are contenders too). It may not compete on a level with the original Star Wars or Lord of the Rings, but I teared up several times. I wasn’t expecting that.

Our ragtag team of intergalactic mercenaries is just settling in their new headquarters. We see that Peter Krill/Star-Lord (Chris Pratt), Rocket Raccoon (Bradley Cooper), Drax the Destroyer (Dave Bautista), Groot (Vin Diesel), Nebula (Karen Gillan), Mantis (Pom Klementieff), Kraglin (Sean Gunn), and Cosmo the Space Dog (Maria Bakalova) are all there. Gamora (Zoe Saldaña) will appear later, but she, well, uh, her reemergence requires more explanation. Anyway, they are suddenly attacked by a powerful being named Adam Warlock (Will Poulter). In the ensuing fight, Rocket is injured to the point where his very life is at stake. Now the team must search for a cure which leads them to a wicked scientist named The High Evolutionary (Chukwudi Iwuji).

We learn in flashback that Rocket was part of a cruel genetic experiment by this man. We meet other animals, an otter with mechanical arms (Linda Cardellini), a walrus with wheels for legs (Asim Chaudry), and a rabbit (Mikaela Hoover) with robotic attachments that make her look like a spider. They are strange in appearance but have sweet and cuddly personalities, giving Rocket emotional strength. What sets this episode apart is the sentimental component. Sure, we get a big-budget extravaganza boasting a curated soundtrack full of songs that I love, but it’s in the narrative’s quieter moments that truly shine. Rocket Raccoon is the focus, and his backstory is truly affecting.

This PG-13 release pushes that rating to its limit. The High Evolutionary, played by Chukwudi Iwuji, is a sadistic villain full of Shakespearean intensity. He is a degenerate with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. The account can be violent. “Kill ’em all!” Star-Lord instructs when faced with an unholy army at one point. Or could that be the Earthling’s favorite Metallica album? Director James Gunn’s casual disregard for life is troubling. However, it’s the scenes involving animal cruelty that have garnered the most discussion. Some of it is a bit much.

The various incidents — even the traumatic ones — inform a narrative with real stakes. Ok, so yeah, there’s a surplus of characters, and it’s overstuffed with plot. Nevertheless, I’m now convinced MCU films need over two hours to excel. Thor: The Dark World is the shortest and arguably worst entry. Vol. 3 presents a thrilling saga with action spectacles that deliver. The production design is a dazzling display of sets and costumes with an eye toward humor. Nathan Fillion appears as Master Karja wearing a suit that looks like it was borrowed from the production of The Fifth Element. That’s exalted praise. Throw in a genuinely poignant tale that tugs at the heartstrings. Rocket’s origins are explored in depth, and his past is tragic, to say the least. There’s a lot going on. Developments can get visceral, but the story’s intentions are noble. Animal testing is wrong, and good wins out over evil. This beloved group goes out with style. I couldn’t ask for a more hopeful sendoff than that.

05-04-23

2019’s Shazam! was about children who metamorphosized into superpowered grownups. The chronicle was charming because the developments were fresh and new. Billy Batson (Asher Angel) was introduced as an orphaned teenager that received the abilities of the ancient gods from the Wizard (Djimon Hounsou). Whenever the teen yelled “Shazam!” he transformed into a muscular hero (Zachary Levi) in a red bodysuit with a lightning bolt on his chest. He possessed strength, courage, and speed, but his brain remained as a child. He was still fraught with feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy. He was aided by his adoptive siblings, with whom he shared the powers of a magical staff. They likewise became superheroes.

The “kids” are a powerful team of crime fighters in this sequel. They must face off against natural disasters in Philadelphia, like saving people on a collapsing bridge in the opening setpiece. However, their mission is complicated when confronted by the Daughters of Atlas. These villains include Hespera (Helen Mirren) and Kalypso (Lucy Liu). The sisters want to harness the power of the Wizard’s staff for themselves.

That would be enough story, but there’s so much more. Billy has turned 18. He’s concerned about aging out of the foster system. Billy is now an adult, and he looks it. He’s not the only one. Mary (Grace Caroline Currey) — his more mature and academically minded sister — has aged so much that she is portrayed by the same actress in her adult form. Meanwhile, Billy’s foster brother Freddy (Jack Dylan Grazer) falls for Anne (Rachel Zegler), a mysterious new girl at school who may not be all she seems. Together Freddy and Anne radiate a flicker of chemistry that I enjoyed.

Unfortunately, the rest of the film is unbearably stuffed with gags. Sure, the first picture was light-hearted. That made it a refreshing change in a DC Extended Universe previously known for Zack Snyder’s gloomy worldview (Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Justice League). Here the wisecracks are so relentless it’s oppressive. I never laughed. A series of jokes fashioned around multicolored candies are nothing more than a shameless advertisement for that product. Furthermore, Zachary Levi’s mugging performance is so tedious. The actor has dialed up the doofiness considerably. The actor smirks, sneers, grimaces, and giggles, contorting his face like never before.

Shazam is more than a manchild; he’s a complete doofus. And he blathers incessantly — rarely pausing for a breath. The rapid-fire cadence of words spewing from his mouth so fast you fear the chatterbox might pass out. His inane quips include the Fast & Furious franchise when speaking about family. Ugh! Do you ever think anything you don’t say? At one point, Billy uses a sentient pen to draft a negotiation letter. The enchanted stylus includes all the random thoughts he speaks out loud. When Helen Mirren, as Hespera, recites the letter for all to hear, it is admittedly an amusing bit. Ok, so I chuckled there.

The worst superhero movies take a simple idea and make it confusing, Shazam! Fury of the Gods is more! More people! More special effects! More plot! It has more everything but charm. It is an explosion of computer graphics and chaos masquerading as a narrative. When the Daughters of Atlas command a mythical dragon, the manifestation is so disconnected from anything resembling a logical development that it doesn’t even seem like a real threat. Explosions occur, and buildings fall. This is an exhausting display of destruction that happens to feature beloved personalities from the first movie. They do a bunch of stuff. Very little of which is interesting.

03-16-23

I feel like a newbie whenever I watch the latest superhero release. As a critic, I’ve seen every chapter in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). Yet I can never remember who did what to whom because I see so many movies, and comic book adaptations are a tiny part of that. My perspective is good news if you are a casual moviegoer and simply want an entertaining picture. Bad news if you’re a comic book aesthete who demands that a sequel correctly address the happenings and characters of the previous installment.

Phase 5 of the MCU kicks off with Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. For those keeping track, it’s the 31st film of the franchise and the 3rd one to feature Ant-Man/Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) as the central hero. Paul Rudd brings the carefree charm we’ve come to expect. He’s such a likable guy. I realize that every mention of Baskin Robbins is a shameless product placement, but Rudd sells it as comedy. I was amused. However, despite the title, neither Ant-Man nor the Wasp (Evangeline Lily) conveys the impression of being the star. There are a plethora of individuals that populate this sci-fi conflict in space. The story is a random assortment of events that feature a large cast. It’s overflowing with personalities.

Janet van Dyne (Michelle Pfeiffer) is the real star of the tale because every major development involves her in some way. As the original Wasp, she was lost in the Quantum Realm for 30 years. Janet foolishly downplays her bad experiences there to family and friends. Even her husband Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) is unaware of specifics. Meanwhile, Scott Lang’s daughter Cassie (Kathryn Newton) believes the universe in the Multiverse holds secrets to helping the world. Unfortunately, her experimental communication device indirectly gets everyone sucked through a portal. Now Cassie, her father Scott/Ant-Man, his girlfriend Hope/Wasp, and Hope’s parents Janet & Hank are all trapped in the Quantum Realm. They must find a way to escape. Let the fun begin!

Quantumania is a movie at odds with itself. Director Peyton Reed and screenwriter Jeff Loveness (Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Rick and Morty) fluctuate between two extremes: giving the audience serious stakes vs. buoyant fun. At its core, Quantumania is a silly space opera. When it leans heavily into camp characters, it’s a kicky blast. The dimension is a veritable Mos Eisley Cantina expanded to an entire planet. There’s William Jackson Harper as a reluctant mind-reader, martial artist Katy O’Brian as a fierce freedom fighter, and David Dastmalchian who voices a pink CGI slime creature named Veb. Oh, and I have yet to reveal the bad guys.

We are presented with three, count ’em, THREE separate villains. We discover that Janet van Dyne previously met a mysterious fellow named Kang the Conqueror (Jonathan Majors) in the Quantum Realm. He ultimately turns out to be the chief antagonist. Thespians Michelle Pfeiffer and Jonathan Majors are acting in a different — more somber — film than everyone else. They’re solemn, slightly dour, and full of self-importance. Before we meet Kang, however, we are introduced to a couple of secondary scoundrels that behave like his goofy minions. Bill Murray is a hoot as Lord Krylar, a wealthy and pompous governor that claims to have had a romantic tryst with Janet. There’s also MODOK (Corey Stoll), which stands for “Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing.” The salvaged identity of Darren Cross/Yellowjacket possesses tiny arms and legs that sprout out of a huge misshapen head. His appearance is a visual gag every time he appears. Those two rogues are hilarious and add to the absurdity.

Quantumania is a fun, lighthearted popcorn flick. I’ll concede the narrative doesn’t feel as weighty, especially arriving on the heels of Wakanda Forever. But not every movie has to be a political statement. The saga includes everything you’ve come to expect from a Marvel release. It’s hard to tell where art direction, production design, and special effects begin and end, but kudos to them all. I liked the weird alien world. It looks like a 1970s album cover illustrated by Roger Dean. There are also epic action sequences, lively dialogue, and good triumphing over evil. If each MCU phase can be considered a 6-course dinner, this is the appetizer, not an entrée. Quantumania is tuna tartare in sesame ginger sauce served before the main course of pan-seared scallops with capers and brown butter. It may not be the central dish, but it is a satisfying starter.

02-16-23

Comic book movies shouldn’t take themselves too seriously. That’s the spirit behind Thor: Love and Thunder. Director Taika Waititi returns five years after Thor: Ragnarok to helm this sequel, the 4th entry in the Thor series. Though it might not reach the heights of his previous effort, it’s still a smashing good time.

It takes an absolute eternity to get to the principal story. It felt like an hour in, but I could be wrong. The proper narrative begins when Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is reunited with his brainy ex-girlfriend Jane Foster (Natalie Portman). This duo forms the emotional core of their ongoing romance. She has taken on super powers aided by Mjölnir, the hammer Thor once owned that she now commands. Meanwhile, Thor now wields an enchanted axe called Stormbreaker. An ongoing joke is that his — apparently cognizant — weapon is comically jealous that Thor continues to pine for his hammer. The duo takes on Gorr the God Butcher (Christian Bale) who is wreaking havoc across the multiverse and killing every deity he can while capturing the Asgardian children and imprisoning them.

Their adventures take them to Omnipotence City, where they appeal to Zeus for help. Russell Crowe is affecting a Greek accent while advancing the cause of body positivity. Zeus proves you don’t have to lift weights 24/7 to play a significant character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Truth be told, it looks as if he’s never even seen a gym. He’s a role model to Thor, but Zeus turns out to be a real jerk and exposes the muscular hero (quite literally, in fact) to the entire assemblage.

Thor is a meandering tale. Like everything in this blessedly interconnected universe, the latest Marvel chapter pays homage to earlier incarnations. Voiceover narration from the rock-like creature Korg (Taika Waititi) recounts the legend of the god of thunder. A screenplay co-written by the director and Jennifer Kaytin Robinson fills in the extensive background minutiae, dramatizing his experiences with the Guardians of the Galaxy. We are treated to an extended sequence in the first 20 minutes, highlighting a planet overrun by bird-like invaders. After Thor and his team defeat the attackers, the king of the land gifts Thor and the Guardians with two giant screaming goats. Their human shrieks are a running joke for the duration of the picture.

Oh, but there are many more trivialities to learn. Thor has appointed Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) the leader of New Asgard. The place has become a tourist attraction, with plays featuring actors in amusing cameos that re-enact Thor’s exploits. The lengthy introduction is fitfully diverting, but you could eliminate the whole shebang. This critic favors clarity. A simple, straightforward narrative is preferred, but whatever. I realize some people demand this stuff, so it’s here for those who feast on the details.

Thor: Love and Thunder is a lighthearted account that promotes slapstick and humorous banter. A series of seemingly random developments and numerous characters wear on the viewer. Despite being a mere two hours, it feels longer because of the convoluted events and distended cast list. The sloppy chronicle fumbles in the 2nd half with several generic action setpieces that fail to deliver. And yet the atmosphere is so jovial it entertains. The production relies on a soundtrack that presents four — yes, count ’em four — songs by Guns N Roses: “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” “Welcome To The Jungle,” “Paradise City,” and “November Rain.” The account is a hodgepodge of lively ideas that ultimately fuse into something resembling a cohesive whole. Thor Love and Thunder doesn’t stay with you long after seeing it, but it manages to captivate in the moment. That’s something, I guess.

07-07-22