Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire

I’m not saying Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire is the most hollow cash grab ever made—however, five movies into this franchise, we have officially hit rock bottom. With the Ghostbusters legacy comprising five films, the specter of lackluster sequels has become a familiar haunt. Each mediocre iteration only serves to underscore the brilliance of the 1984 picture, which can only be considered an absolute masterpiece by comparison. Previous disappointments have left a lingering sense of disillusionment, but none have ever made me depressed–until now.

Two years after the events in 2021’s Afterlife, the Spengler family, consisting of mom Callie (Carrie Coon), 15-year-old Phoebe (Mckenna Grace), 18-year-old Trevor (Finn Wolfhard ), and stepdad Gary Grooberson (Paul Rudd ), move to Manhattan to fight phantoms full time. They operate from the original headquarters, responding to supernatural emergencies. However, their proton packs cause unintended damage, drawing the ire of EPA inspector Walter Peck (yup, actor William Atherton is back), who threatens to shut them down.

Phoebe, the granddaughter of Egon Spengler (Harold Ramis), is convinced that ghost-busting is her destiny. She defies her parents and bonds with a teenage spirit named Melody (Emily Alyn Lind), who seeks help crossing over. Oops big mistake. Melody has ulterior motives. The account finally finds its footing with the discovery of a mysterious brass orb that unleashes an ancient but evil spirit called Garraka, prompting our heroes to rally their forces to prevent his escape and thwart his plan to trigger a new Ice Age. With the fate of the world at stake, Ghostbusters from the past and present must unite to protect the city and prevent a chilling catastrophe.

This so-called comedy presents an amalgamation of disparate elements weighed down by an overcrowded cast. Directed by Gil Kenan (2015 Poltergeist remake) and co-written with the director of Ghostbusters: Afterlife, Jason Reitman, the saga features enough thespains to populate a trilogy. The first group includes those from the 1984 flick: Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson, and Annie Potts. Despite what the marketing might have you believe, their randomly inserted appearances basically amount to superficial fan service to the central story. The iconic antagonist depicted by William Atherton has also been coaxed back to the series as Walter “d–kless” Peck. His role is more crucial, although he’s saying and doing the same things he did before. Forty years may have passed, but this man is behaving exactly the same.

The proper tale features the main protagonists introduced in Ghostbusters: Afterlife. Actors Paul Rudd, Carrie Coon, Finn Wolfhard, Celeste O’Connor, Mckenna Grace, and Logan Kim have all returned. Those last two portrayed kids Phoebe and Podcast, respectively. Their captivating personas were a welcome breath of fresh air in the previous film. They emerged as the current generation that promised to take up the mantle of ghost-busting. Sure, it had a Goonies-esque quality that felt familiar, but at least it took the brand in a different direction.

I had hoped they would be the stars here too. Sadly, with so many individuals, nobody has the opportunity to get much screen time. Assorted actors pop up, say a few lines, and then it’s off to the next performer. It’s a dizzying assortment of personalities. If that weren’t enough. The screenplay then sees fit to introduce an entirely new group of people. This includes Nadeem (Kumail Nanjiani), some guy who inherited a mysterious orb from his grandmother, a folklore librarian (Patton Oswalt), a scientist inventor (James Acaster), and a lonely apparition (Emily Alyn Lind). Each one renders the narrative more complicated but less enjoyable.

The disjointed plot is a headache. A plethora of things from yesterday and today are thrown into a cinematic blender and spewed at the audience in an incoherent mess. While the chronicle ostensibly revolves around trapping ghosts, it primarily promotes a whole new mythology surrounding a formidable entity named Garraka. It all culminates with the most generic climax. The team battles an ancient entity that plans to unleash an ice age upon the city (yawn). Nadeem’s fire powers and Phoebe’s modified blaster play pivotal roles in the confrontation. The film fails to engage, ultimately devolving into a final battle that is singularly remarkable for how a demonstration of CGI could be this uninspired and mundane in 2024. If you’ve seen any action movie in the past decade, you’ve seen this.

The connection of this entry to the clever blend of wit and comedy that initially started this enterprise is tenuous. This is merely a shoddy amalgamation of stuff. None of it is funny, scary, or even coherent. This shoddy product could have never arisen on its own. It was inspired by nostalgia for the original. As such, its wretched existence is nothing more than an insult to the Ghostbusters name.

03-22-24