Fast Film Reviews

The 2023 Academy Award-nominated short films have been playing in theaters since February 17. ShortsTV has made the nominees in all three categories (animated, live-action, documentary) available to audiences every year since 2006. Visit the website here to learn more about the participating cinemas and how to purchase tickets. See them before the upcoming Oscars ceremony on Sunday, March 12.

DOCUMENTARY SHORT

The entries in this category briefed me about nature and human nature. Tales of misery often dominate this award. This year is more positive. Even the negative efforts have a silver lining. The best documentary shorts give us everything we need to know in 40 minutes or less and do it impartially. These accomplish that goal with varying results. I instinctively resist heavy-handed narratives, but a documentary should have a point of view. Thankfully there isn’t a clinker in the group as they are all interesting.

I’ve ranked these shorts in order for their ability to captivate.

THE ELEPHANT WHISPERERS
INDIA / 41 MINS / 2022
Director: Kartiki Gonsalves

Bomman and Bellie are members of the Kattunayakar Tribe, a forest community that resides in the Mudumalai Forest Reserve in Tamil Nadu, India. They are elephant caregivers who rehabilitate injured, abandoned, and orphaned baby elephants. Their lives intersect when carrying out the duties of their life’s passion. They successfully raise two baby elephants, Raghu and Ammu, and become husband and wife in the process. It’s that last part that clinched it for me. The tender presentation of these majestic animals was enough, but adding the human drama of love to this portrait just puts it over the top. Yes, it’s manipulative but so what? The most feel-good entry of the program. My pick for what WILL WIN and SHOULD WIN.

HAULOUT
UK / 25 MINS / 2022
Directors: Evgenia Arbugaeva, Maxim Arbugaev

The setting is on the Kara Sea coastline on the Yamal Peninsula in Russia. A lonely scientist waits patiently in a ramshackle hut on a remote beach. He’s there to witness a historical gathering of walruses that temporarily leave the water between foraging periods. Stunning cinematography highlights a breathtaking reveal. But don’t get too enamored by all the beautiful wildlife on display. There is a nefarious explanation for what we are witnessing. Not surprisingly, this phenomenon is blamed on climate change. Shrinking ice is the reason. Yet another reminder that human beings are the most dangerous threat to our ecosystem. I assume the conservationist-minded people who made this documentary are not being reprimanded.

STRANGER AT THE GATE
USA / 30 MINS / 2022
Directors: Joshua Seftel

Islamophobia is the theme. Richard “Mac” McKinney is US Marine consumed with rage. After 25 years of military service that comprised multiple tours in Somalia and the Middle East, he has returned home to Muncie, Indiana. However, his hatred for Muslims persists. So much so that he plans to construct an improvised explosive device (IED) and set it off at the Islamic Center in town. His wife Dana and stepdaughter Emily are unaware of his intentions. The story takes an unexpected turn when he meets Afghan refugees Bibi Bahrami and her husband Dr. Saber Bahrami, as well as their fellow believers, which includes Muncie native Jomo Williams. What could have been a very dark story ultimately incorporates kindness and rehabilitation. That people can undergo a true conversion for the better is a powerful testament. However, the unsettling idea that if the Muslims hadn’t approached Mac in just the right way, they would be dead still lingers well after the happy ending.

THE MARTHA MITCHELL EFFECT
USA / 39 MINS / 2022
Directors: Anne Alvergue, Debra McClutchy

Martha Mitchell was the wife of John N. Mitchell, United States Attorney General under President Richard Nixon. She became a whistleblower of sorts when her public comments and phone calls became a thorn in the side of the Nixon administration. She complains of allegedly being held captive in a California hotel. The portrait elevates the outspoken woman as a hero whose sanity was publicly and unfairly questioned at the time. This heavily relies upon having prior knowledge of the politics of this era. For example, what made Watergate such a scandal is never satisfactorily explained to the uninformed. It’s been over half a century. The opinion that Watergate was a bad thing is neither unique nor revelatory. Rather superficial at 39 minutes but a breezy watch of how Watergate affected this one wealthy socialite.

HOW DO YOU MEASURE A YEAR?
USA / 29 MINS / 2022
Director: Jay Rosenblatt

Director Jay Rosenblatt interviews his daughter every year on her birthday until age 18. Watching someone age before our eyes is inherently compelling. The edited compilation is acceptable, but I suspect the presentation would be mildly fascinating with almost any child. To truly transcend requires a director to ask cogent questions. It’s not happening here, folks. “What are dreams?” and “What is power?” are emblematic of the queries. The answers predictably change over time but not in any meaningful way. Social media is filled with viral videos of parents who feature their kids. Much of what I see is more riveting than this. Either more parents should submit their work for Oscar consideration, or Jay Rosenblatt is lucky. The filmmaker was recognized in this category last year for When We Were Bullies. That didn’t win, and I doubt this will either. Kudos for getting nominated again, though. Perhaps his next movie should be entitled How do you get an Oscar nomination?

02-21-23

The 2023 Academy Award-nominated short films have been playing in theaters since February 17. ShortsTV has made the nominees in all three categories (animated, live-action, documentary) available to audiences every year since 2006. Visit the website here to learn more about the participating cinemas and how to purchase tickets. See them before the upcoming Oscars ceremony on Sunday, March 12.

LIVE ACTION

This year the live-action short nominees will give viewers a tour of the world. An international selection that doesn’t include the U.S. If one thing unites all of these entries, it’s that human relationships are fraught with tension. The finest of these stories ends on an uplifting note. There may be hope for us after all. The less satisfying ones conclude that people are inherently evil.

I’ve ranked these shorts in order from best to least favorite. There was a wide variation in my enjoyment of the films in this category.

AN IRISH GOODBYE
IRELAND / 23 MINS /2022
Directors: Tom Berkeley, Ross White

The double-meaning title is slang for when you duck out of a party without bidding farewell to anyone. Two brothers come together to mourn their recently deceased mother. Elder brother Turlough (Seamus O’Hara) attempts to get affairs in order. He also hopes to find a relative who can look after his younger brother Lorcan (James Martin), who has Down Syndrome. Their parish priest (Paddy Jenkins) informs the duo that their mom had a bucket list. Lorcan convinces his reluctant brother to finish every item to honor her passing.

A warm-hearted Irish saga is a real audience pleaser full of cultural humor. It’s hard not to compare this darkly comedic tale about male bonds in rural Ireland with a certain pessimistic Best Picture contender. The vast difference between the philosophical worldviews of these two pictures couldn’t be more disparate. This wholesome, poignant yarn is the anti-Banshees of Inisherin. My pick for what SHOULD WIN

LE PUPILLE
ITALY, USA/ 37 MINS / 2022
Director: Alice Rohrwacher

“Let them eat cake.” A group of young girls at a Catholic boarding school in Italy yearn for a playful childhood. This is Mussolini-era Fascist Italy, and resources are scarce. “The pupils” are bound by strict moral teaching. One of the girls named Serafina (Melissa Falasconi) appears to be the odd one out. While the sisters seem somewhat lenient, Mother Superior (Alba Rohrwacher) is anything but. A radio in the background broadcasts news of WWII but also music. The girls must wash their mouths with soap after singing the lyrics of “Ba Ba Baciami Piccina,” which means “Kiss me, baby.”

The longest short of the program is set in motion about halfway through when a wealthy woman visits the orphanage. She seeks the orphan girls’ prayers for her philandering husband. To strengthen their resolve, she bakes them a decadent cake she claims has 70 eggs. The dessert becomes the focus of an important decision. This account features a cast of adorable children and celebrates their innocence and anarchic spirit. Although it is advent season which is the period leading up to Christmas, this is not typical holiday fare. The tone is tongue-in-cheek. Produced by Alfonso Cuarón and distributed by Disney+. My pick for what WILL WIN.

NIGHT RIDE (NATTRIKKEN)
NORWAY / 15 MINS / 2020
Director: Eirik Tveiten

On a cold winter night in December, Ebba (Sigrid Kandal Husjord) waits for the tram. While the conductor is on break, she enters the empty train to keep warm. In an attempt to close the door, Ebba pushes random buttons and inadvertently starts the tram. Then a group of various people boards the train. The narrative stars a little person and what develops when a transgender woman is harassed on the bus. Ebba struggles with what to do. The most concise contender begins on a whimsical note of light comedy and morphs awkwardly into a serious drama. That combination has made this the most polarizing of the shorts. It ultimately course corrects into a supportive tale.

THE RED SUITCASE (LA VALISE ROUGE)
LUXEMBOURG / 17 MINS / 2022
Director: Cyrus Neshvad

First comes marriage, then comes love? An Iranian teenager (Nawelle Ewad) has arrived at Luxembourg Airport. Her suitcase is sitting at the carousel. Yet she fears the man (Sarkaw Gorany) waiting beyond the gate. The dialogue is minimal and offers little situational particulars. The lack of details feeds into our apprehension, just the presentation of two strangers and mounting anxiety. She makes the life-changing decision to remove her head covering and leave.

Without question a controversial practice that is a cultural and religious institution for some. This predictably takes the traditional belief that arranged marriages are bad and something to escape. Although in this case, the couple hasn’t met, and we know little about them. This portrait takes the stereotypical point of view and ticks all the boxes for a Western (read U.S.) audience. This complex subject deserves more than a cursory 17-minute condemnation.

IVALU
DENMARK / 16 MINS / 2022
Director: Anders Walter

In Greenland, a young girl named Pipaluk (Mila Heilmann Kreutzmann) is distraught by the disappearance of her sister Ivalu (Nivi Larsen). Father seems to be less concerned. What is going on? Tragic story highlights gorgeous cinematography of outdoor scenery, and that’s about all to recommend. Stories about suffering children (sexual abuse, suicide, etc.) are so commonplace in this category that the drama requires significant art or innovation to surpass the inherent cliché. The “big reveal” is predictable, given it’s artlessly telegraphed at the beginning. Based on a graphic novel by Illustrator Lars Horneman and author Morten Dürr.

02-15-23

ShortsTV has made the Oscar-nominated short films (animated, live-action, documentary) available to audiences since 2006. The 17th-annual theatrical rollout of films nominated in the live-action, animated, and documentary short categories began on February 25. To learn more about the participating theaters and how to purchase tickets, visit the website here. The program will play in theaters only for the first four weeks. They then will be released to VOD via iTunes, Amazon, Verizon, and Google Play beginning March 22.

DOCUMENTARY

A pioneering basketball player, a high school for the deaf, life in Afghanistan, homelessness, and bullying: the topics covered in the documentary shorts are an eclectic assortment, although perseverance is a common thread. The shorts programs have long focused on depressing subjects and the documentary category is often the bleakest. These certainly depict adversity, but they affect a more hopeful mood than in years past. I’ve ranked them in order of my favorites but all five nominees are compelling. This collection is my favorite of the three short programs this year.

THE QUEEN OF BASKETBALL
USA | 22 MIN | 2021
DIRECTOR: BEN PROUDFOOT

Lucy Harris is a trailblazer. She played basketball for Delta State University in the 1970s and won three consecutive National Championships. Then she represented the U.S. team in the first women’s basketball tournament at the 1976 Olympic Games and won the silver medal. She was later drafted by the New Orleans Jazz in the seventh round in 1977 — thus becoming the first and only woman “officially” drafted by an NBA team. Despite her immense talent, Harris did not express an interest to play in the NBA and declined to try out. She focused on raising a family instead and had two sons and twin daughters. This makes her even more intriguing. Luisa Harris is such a warm and self-effacing woman. Her humble persona belies a charming personality that shines throughout. I’m pretty confident that what “will win” and what “should win” the Oscar in this category is the very same thing.

AUDIBLE
USA | 38 MIN | 2020
DIRECTOR: MATT OGENS

Amaree McKenstry is a high school student at the Maryland School for the Deaf. The football team has a forty-two-game winning streak. Then they lose a game. The tournaments have a cinematic grandeur with a rousing score. Friday Night Lights director Peter Berg is one of the producers. Yet it’s not just about football. It’s a coming-of-age story about Amaree, the whole school in general, his group of friends, a tragic suicide, an absentee father, bullying, and sexuality. The uplifting account is a triumph over layer upon layer of hardship. The massive scope of the various narrative threads portrayed is so wide. It touches upon a lot of weighty themes within a brief runtime. There’s enough subject matter to sustain a 2-hour feature. Heck, it could be a miniseries. That’s a tribute to how engaging these stories are. These kids are so amazing the portrait captivates through sheer magnetism.

WHEN WE WERE BULLIES
GERMANY/USA | 36 MIN | 2021
DIRECTOR: JAY ROSENBLATT

Bullies feel regret. Writer/director Jay Rosenblatt’s film is a recollection of a bullying incident. It happened 50 years ago when he was a child in the fifth grade. He was one of the perpetrators. Indeed the entire class was complicit in the taunting he recounts. All except the victim — whose name was Dick. No last name is given. Jay includes sound bites of the classmates he was able to interview. They share their memory of the event. Even his ninety-two-year-old teacher is interviewed. Not surprisingly, Dick does not particulate in this chronicle.

The fact Jay — the oppressor — is reconstructing this horrible experience to assuage his guilt makes him a lot of things: insensitive, self-indulgent, callous. He acknowledges this. “When I began making this film, I didn’t consider how it might make you feel, ” he addresses the victim. “I guess I’m not as sensitive as I thought.” The document is like an autopsy on a dead body completed by the murderer himself. Jay isn’t someone to be commended or admired. The overwhelmingly negative reactions on social media would agree, its Oscar nomination notwithstanding. Yet it still doesn’t make the reconstruction any less fascinating. It’s a psychological window into human behavior. This is real-life horror and it happens on playgrounds every day.

LEAD ME HOME
USA | 39 MIN | 2020
DIRECTORS: PEDRO KOS, JON SHENK

Over 500,000 Americans are homeless on any given night. This profile humanizes that statistic with the specific stories of people in three U.S. cities on the West Coast: Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Seattle. This slickly-produced account is filled with stunning cinematography and music that sometimes verges on making the environment too beautiful. The presentation doesn’t delve into the roots of the problem or come up with any solutions. This is merely a sympathetic plea for help with a problem on a daunting scale and scope. What ultimately comes through amidst the crushing details of their lives is the humanity of these people.

THREE SONGS FOR BENAZIR
AFGHANISTAN | 22 MIN | 2021
DIRECTORS: GULISTAN MIRZAEI, ELIZABETH MIRZAEI

Shaista is a newly married young man to Benazir. The couple lives in Kabul in a camp for displaced persons and they’re starting a family. His wife is expecting their first child. Nevertheless, he wants to be the first of his tribe to join the Afghan National Army. His desire to leave her for the army is difficult to support. Everyone tells Shaista to remain with his wife. “Go poppy harvesting,” his father implores. But that’s not the driving force behind his ambitions. The fact we never hear what his pregnant wife thinks speaks volumes. Shaista seems like a sweet guy and his love for Benazir is evident. We flash forward four years. The bleak ending does nothing to alleviate my distaste for Shaista’s decisions in life. This chronicle ends on a sour note.

02-21-22

ShortsTV has made the Oscar-nominated short films (animated, live-action, documentary) available to audiences since 2006. The 17th-annual theatrical rollout of films nominated in the live-action, animated, and documentary short categories begins February 25. To learn more about the participating theaters and how to purchase tickets, visit the website here. The program will play in theaters only for the first four weeks. They then will be released to VOD via iTunes, Amazon, Verizon, and Google Play beginning March 22.

LIVE-ACTION

American singer Nina Simone once said, “An artist’s duty is to reflect the times.” So if aliens wanted to understand the human experience through the Oscar-nominated live-action shorts this year, they would have to conclude that life on planet earth is pretty awful. That’s not to say there isn’t some interesting work here, but every single one is blighted by misery. As a personal challenge, I tried to list them in order of enjoyability.

PLEASE HOLD
USA | 19 MIN | 2020
DIRECTOR: KD DAVILA

In the near future, a young man is informed by his phone that he is under arrest. A police drone apprehends him without explanation. He’s brought to a holding facility using a fully automated system without a human being in sight. This portrait of an American justice system gone wrong takes the frustrating experience of navigating a computerized phone-system maze to its horrific extreme. A perfectly realized idea is masterfully executed. I guess I should watch the British anthology series Black Mirror (itself based on The Twilight Zone) because I’m told this melding of science fiction technology and a dystopian society is like an episode of the TV show. I was captivated throughout. This is director Kristen (K.D) Davila’s directorial debut.

ON MY MIND
DENMARK | 18 MIN | 2021
DIRECTOR: MARTIN STRANGE-HANSEN

A forlorn chap goes for a walk and winds up in a bar. He orders a quadruple pour of whiskey. As he’s about to leave, he spies a microphone. “Is that…karaoke?” he asks. This 18 minute short is all set up which unnecessarily draws out a simple idea. He wants a recording of himself singing the classic “Always on My Mind” for his wife Trine. The story is pretty lethargic, but it admittedly builds to a touching conclusion in the last 3 minutes. The somewhat clumsy execution feels like the work of a student filmmaker. However Danish director Martin Strange-Hansen won in this category for This Charming Man back in 2003.

ALA KACHUU – TAKE AND RUN
SWITZERLAND | 38 MIN | 2020
DIRECTOR: MARIA BRENDLE

The Academy adores films that highlight “barbaric behavior that is the normal practice of a certain country.” They usually appear in the “Documentary Short” category, but this Live Action short continues the perpetual tradition. 19-year-old Sezim wants to study in the Kyrgyz capital of Bishkek through a college scholarship. However, her plans are thwarted when she is forcibly kidnapped by a group of young men and taken to the hinterland. There, she is forced to marry a stranger against her will. If she refuses she will become a social pariah. Sezim is tormented by the traditions of Kyrgyz culture. She desperately seeks a way out. “Ala kachuu” is a form of bride kidnapping. Sources suggest that currently a third of brides are taken against their will in Kyrgyzstan. My respect if you can pinpoint that country on a blank map. This admirably exists to highlight an appalling practice, but it’s a chore to watch. The extreme length doesn’t help. If it were 2 minutes longer, this 38 minute “short” would have to compete as a feature.

THE LONG GOODBYE
UK | 12 MIN | 2020
DIRECTOR: ANEIL KARIA

Islamophobia in a post-Brexit UK is the topic at hand. Riz and his family are in the middle of preparing a wedding celebration when a far-right rally arrives on their doorstep. After they shockingly kill everyone in his life, he starts beatboxing. It’s an odd development until you realize that The Long Goodbye is also the name of actor and rapper Riz Ahmed’s second album. This long-form music video of sorts is a collaboration with director Aneil Karia. A political statement with a raw, brutal, and depressing view of contemporary British society. Racism is quickly becoming the topic to win in this category. Skin and Two Distant Strangers – the respective winners in 2019 and 2021 — both focused on the subject. If current predictions hold, this frontrunner will also take home the gold.

THE DRESS
POLAND | 30 MIN | 2020
DIRECTOR: TADEUSZ ŁYSIAK

Julia is a lonely maid in a Polish motel who just wants to be normal. As truck drivers come and go, she meets a handsome fellow who becomes the object of her desires. He likewise expresses an interest in taking her out on a date. She now must find a nice dress that will fit her. The 30 minute short has moments of poetic beauty. Given the setup, I suspected this would be a poignant tale. It’s not. Unpredictability can be an asset. Still, it’s hard to award points for upending expectations when a development is so disturbing it destroys any initial feelings of goodwill. The portrayal of an abusive act is hard to watch. Of all the shorts, this epitomizes what critics have derided as “misery porn.” Actress Anna Dzieduszycka is a charismatic presence in the lead, but she deserves a better film.

02-19-22

ShortsTV has made the Oscar-nominated short films (animated, live-action, documentary) available to audiences since 2006. The 17th-annual theatrical rollout of films nominated in the live-action, animated, and documentary short categories begins February 25. To learn more about the participating theaters and how to purchase tickets, visit the website here. The program will play in theaters only for the first four weeks. They then will be released to VOD via iTunes, Amazon, Verizon, and Google Play beginning March 22.

ANIMATION

Family-friendly entries have long dominated this category for decades. However, this year’s selection of animation shorts came with a boldface warning: * for mature audiences only. They’re not kidding. With one exception, the collection of nominees this year is NOT for children. I was originally dumbfounded when Us Again from Walt Disney Pictures somehow failed to get a nom on the morning of February 8th. It now makes perfect sense. Unlike 4 out of the 5 nominees, it doesn’t feature nudity. First time since 2009 that Disney is omitted from the Top 5. Nothing from Pixar was nominated in this category either. I’ve ranked these shorts in order of their ability to inspire. It was difficult.

BOXBALLET
RUSSIA | 15 MIN | 2019
DIRECTOR: ANTON DYAKOV

A lithe ballet dancer and a hulking boxer meet and fall in love. Obviously, Olya and Evgeny live in two very different worlds and this chronicle explores that contrast. Opposites attract. The idea may be as old as time itself. There are no words. The intersection of the worlds of their realities is purely visual. Their tour of an art museum à la Ferris Bueller is delightful. A 1986 song called “Balance” by Soviet new wave group Kofe is now my current jam. Olya makes a questionable decision. Meanwhile, the boxer behaves admirably. The portrait is intellectually unsophisticated, yet it has a whimsical style that ultimately champions love so it’s hard to resist. I suspected these two might have a future together right at the outset. Simplicity is the short’s greatest asset.

ROBIN ROBIN
UK | 31 MIN | 2021
DIRECTORS: DAN OJARI, MIKEY PLEASE

A young robin –appropriately named Robin — is raised by a family of mice. She questions where she belongs and sets out on a fearless journey to figure it out. Robin meets a materialistic magpie who tells her about Christmas. It’s worth mentioning actress Gillian Anderson purrs seductively as a cat. The title character is cute but I’m more fascinated by what makes the single dad mouse tick. He’s admirably raising four child mice and a bird all on his own. The chronicle is a heartfelt, sweetly rendered fuzzy-felt creation that really takes a lot of time to tell a predictable tale. At 31 minutes, it’s double the length of the other nominees in this category, but it’s also the only one you can show your kids. This Christmas special from Aardman Animations is a co-production with Netflix. Aardman has been nominated 8 times in this category and won 3. Their last win (in this category) was 26 years ago in 1996 for Nick Park’s claymation short A Close Shave featuring Wallace & Gromit. Prognosticators are predicting that animators Dan Ojari and Mikey Please will change that this year.

BESTIA
CHILE | 16 MIN | 2021
DIRECTOR: HUGO COVARRUBIAS

Based on a true story, a woman works for the secret police of Chile in 1975 during the dictatorship of Augusto Pinochet. Her intensely close relationship with her dog suggests a highly disturbed individual. This demonic woman trains her German shepherd to do unspeakable acts. To be fair, it’s unclear what this unsettling short is really trying to teach us. It prompted research on my part. I learned things I wish I hadn’t. To present depravity without the historical context of who Íngrid Olderöck was, renders this short incomprehensible at best and exploitative at worst. Hey, I’m well aware there is unmitigated evil in the world. I suppose I wasn’t prepared for a stop motion cartoon to capitalize on the idea.

THE WINDSHIELD WIPER
SPAIN | 15 MIN | 2021
DIRECTOR: ALBERTO MIELGO

A man sits inside a cafe, smoking a pack of cigarettes, and ruminates over the question “What is love?” He is merely a framing device for a collection of fragmented vignettes ostensibly presented to provide an answer. A woman wearing nothing but a bikini bottom sits next to her fully clothed boyfriend at the beach. Two Tinder users in a grocery store inadvertently select one another on the app — oblivious they are standing side by side. A homeless man is captivated by a mannequin. A woman commits suicide by jumping off a building. This may be director Alberto Mielgo’s first Oscar nomination, but he is well regarded in Hollywood. The animator is known for his visually distinctive contributions to Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) and the adult animated anthology TV series Love, Death + Robots (2019). The hyper-realistic animation featured here uses keyframe software to animate characters into digitally painted backgrounds. I wish the heady visual style — which resembles rotoscoping or motion capture — had something interesting to say. It’s a nihilistic view of relationships by someone who has seemingly never been in a positive one.

AFFAIRS OF THE ART
UK/CANADA | 16 MIN | 2021
DIRECTOR: JOANNA QUINN

Beryl is obsessed with drawing and holds determinedly grand artistic ambitions. This is filmmakers Joanna Quinn and Les Mills’ fourth short starring the 59-year-old working-class Welsh housewife and the first to get nominated. In Beryl’s latest adventure, we are introduced to her eccentric family. The depressing lot provides a window into Beryl’s unpleasant personality. It begins and ends with her husband descending a staircase nude à la Duchamp. As a child, her sister Beverly abuses animals like a future serial killer. The hand-drawn character designs are grotesque which matches the subject matter I guess. Originally, I thought the nadir was when Beverly tortures a mouse to its eventual death on a toy train set. The short manages to go even lower. She later gets into taxidermy and stuffs the family dog — through the rectum. Absolute dreck.

02-17-22